April 20, 2024
I miss the "Old Internet". What a Boomer thing to say, huh? And I'm not even 30.
But that's the truth.
Honestly, I don't think I use wrong platforms. All the things I dislike are more a mark of the times - fast, loud, capitalistic - something that spreads to every site because it became so natural, so obvious, that people need it to feel that dopamine hit.
Even though the "being sick of social media" feeling has been with me for some time now, I decided to act on it after stumbling upon Lrnjulie's video, which perfectly summarized my own feelings on that matter. While she does a great job explaining all my feelings around this topic, I will try to address the issues I feel below, in my own words.
What I dislike in Social Media and how I combat it with my website
1. Lack of individuality
I think fondly of a random blogs with customizable everything (I honestly wouldn't be able to make this site without my tumblr experience!). Tacky? Maybe. But quirks like that are adorable. A person is one thing, but the room they're living in can tell a story on its own.
On the contrary, Social Medias are like minimalistic, millennial gray rooms for rent. Clean and soulless. "If you hang this poster, I'll charge you for damages!" type of apps. Changing your profile picture and bio is usually the peak of customization you can get. Honestly, at first, I used to like that aspect of social media. Only after some time it started to bore me. While this helps in maintaining consistency, it also stripes users of getting really creative - not only with their "content", but also all the package.
Every social media limits its users in some way. For me, it hits the most when I'm trying to show a photo or an illustration - which I know have a great details, but... no one will ever see it. Another problem is censoring! While I understand the need to ban certain people, I saw way too many instances of it failing, removing valuable and educational content, usually from the topics that are dear to me.
How I combat it: Look at this site. It's violet. It has fonts I like. It has full-width images. I can write here whatever I want, however long I want. It has all my life within it, not only some part that suits the template. It has Easter Eggs. I enjoy working on it and treat it like a long-term project - I want it to grow with me! And when I change my taste, or simply got bored, I can do whatever. I. Want. With. It.
2. My attention and privacy is constantly exploited
Social Media are technically free. Bur if you’re not paying for the product, the product is you. (Especially now, the "pay or okay"consent that META does in EU is illegal and disturbing, and yet... well, they do it.)
Those apps are designed to steal the most precious thing - attention. Honestly, I know some steel-willed people. And sometimes even they have troubles with scrolling, and scrolling, and... Yes, it IS addicting. It literally cannot afford not to be, and many, many people make sure of that.
But I want to NOT use a site while I don't need it! And I don't want to feel pressured to come back everyday. Not for please-watch-me-i-will-be-gone-within-a-day stories, not for please-click-at-me-and-see-who-liked-your-photo notifications.
For me, time is the most precious resource. I like using it wisely, even to the point of "optimizing" my life (yeah, other side of the coin, I know). While the time spending scrolling and watching shorts could feel entertaining for me, it was not intentional - and even if when I relax, I'd rather choose how to relax myself. A 10-seconds videos raging from cute cats to political issues certainly won't help me with that - I need to focus to fully immerse in what I do, not switch between different topics and emotions with every short video.
How I combat it: I haven't exactly measured my attention before and now, but whenever I grab my phone, I open Anki instead of Instagram. Also, I do not have the urge to look at my phone anymore after waking up, which is HUGE improvement.
3. ADs and all the content I don't want to see
Lately, I've been pissed off with all the AI-generated ads and photos. Really, I'm in FURY seeing scammers making money by selling non-existent products and people begging for likes under the pictures of non-existent children. The monstera-shaped blanket, stylized crocheted fruits, poor Black kids making animals from plastic bottles - those fake things are everywhere, praying off unsuspecting people. With AI, a lot of scammers' dream came true.
But ADs are one thing. There is more. A lot of content I just... don't want to see, but see anyway.
I'm talking specifically about the "For You" type of pages, which are usually (if not always?) set as default. Instagram even makes it extra annoying viewing the "Followers" tab, because it removes Like/Message functions, suggesting that the "For You" timeline should be your preferred way to use the app.
Once you choose to show only the content from the people you follow, you realize... it ends quite quickly. Yeah, even if you follow hundreds of people, they have limited capability of producing "content" within a day. And without some additional algorithm finds, one can quickly move on... Which Social Media don't really like.
How I combat it: Hooo boy, I certainly did not miss that AT ALL. There is NO sponsored content, NO ads and NO AI on my site. Not even a single newsletter pop-up that would show up within five seconds on a site. And no cookie banner since I don't gather any personal data, imagine that!
What stopped me from leaving Social Media sooner and how I deal with it?
1. B-B-But all those creative stuff! INSPIRATION!
I have to admit, Social Media introduced me to many great artists and I felt inspired countless times. I was sure that this would be the thing I'd crave the most...
Reality: There is plenty of inspiration around me. And now, when I'm inspired, I act on it, and not... "save for later". While I was scrolling and only absorbing content made by others, I usually just, well, ended up being inspired, and not creating myself.
I noticed that I read more (I used to read A LOT while I was a child, but then slowly stopped) and even game more! So I still gain inspiration, just from different mediums.
2. W-W-What about my friends?
Lucky for me, I have no-
Well, I do have some, okay. Although I'm pretty sure I'm one of the most introverted person one could ever meet. My social battery is nonexistent and usually deploys with work alone, so I don't really have that need to socialize in my free time.
But even I felt this... weird feeling... that I'd lose something special by not being able to check out my friends' stories.
Reality: Before leaving SM, I provided alternative ways to contact me and a few people responded. But many did not, which means that I did left some people behind. And honestly, it doesn't make me feel as bad as I thought. If staying on one particular platform is required for keeping in touch, does that really mean connection? If no effort is made, can I call someone my friend at all? I don't mean to make things harder on purpose (I consider leaving socials beneficial to my mental health), but maybe... I overestimated the value of my person in some peoples' life. Maybe SM made me think I am closer to them than I thought, because of that daily dose of attention I received from them.
But that's fine. Just reality check.
Aside from friends-stuff, I was afraid of FOMO, but... there is no FOMO? None. When I feel the need to engage with someone, I actually write to them instead of just lurking in their life. And, at the same time, I don't feel pressured to check any app daily because "oh no, I'll miss the story from that person..." - I do not miss looking at someone's coffee.
3. Documenting and sharing my life
I am a person who loves creating, traveling and just... doing stuff I consider very cool (I'm so humble). I enjoyed sharing those parts with people, showing them my new fun hobbies or my thoughts about various stuff.
Reality: I determined why I like to show my life so much, even though I am a very private person. Once, writing is my favorite form of expression, so it's natural that I wanted to use it as much as I wanted - and that's good! Two, I felt the need to... to show others how cool my life is. And that's the problematic part.
I used to suffer severely from low self-esteem. In my home, I could rarely do what I wanted, everything had to be approved by my parents. Because of this, for a long time I felt like I can't do what I want (what do I even want...?), wasn't able to state my own desires and I always felt I had to please someone, prove my every move. Despite the therapy that helped me deal with most of my problems, I guess I continued to subconsciously seek approval and attentiveness even from strangers.
I want to start doing things just for myself, without any show. The favor of others, even friends or family, should not prevent me from doing so. I enjoy doing my lil' stuff and that's more than enough.
I still want to continue documenting my life (because I think it's cool), so I created a Journal for that, and Travel for my journeys. I try to use it more carefully, and the lack of likes or comments allows me to focus on myself, and not other's reactions.
Potential issues
Um... work?
It's true that as an artist/illustrator/graphic designer, social media can play a huge role in marketing one's services and searching for clients. Right now, I have a full-time job so that's not the issue for me right now. However, I know it can become one in the future.
Is it really the issue? Looking at my past business relations, most of the commissions I got... did not come from Social Media at all, but from referrals, returning clients and sites designed to find contractors. So maybe I overestimate the role of Socials - after all, a solid portfolio and networking can do as much. Or maybe, looking at all the attention and focus that SM have, other channels are less frequented by competitors.
Look at my art...
As a fandom-focused artist... yeah. I admit. This one can suck.
I feel like, especially if your work oscillated around fandoms, you really want a specific community to see it. It's not only about sharing your love for art, but for characters, stories and games at the same time.
My solution? Not really a solution, but posting on discord servers is my main source of fandom-related connection and attention for now. Thankfully, right now I'm not obsessed with any game (as I was with FE3H or Pokemon SV) so I don't produce new fanarts every few days.
Summary
It's been, I think, over a month since I do not use Social Media. So far, I rarely feel bad about it - and if any discomfort arises, I try to identify what exactly is causing it and address the problem, not slap Reels as a wound patch.
I haven't deleted my social media accounts, but I have set them to private/deactivated them, log out, did not link to them here on my site, deleted the apps and, in general, don't go there. At this moment, the only thing that can be found on my Instagram or Twitter is a link to my website. However, I don't want to be delusional - if I ever need to use socials, be it for sign up for an event or message someone, I will have to ability to do so.
If you've been thinking about disappearing from Socials, give it a try. Start slowly, from deleting apps from your phone, forcing yourself to use it only on PC. Or log out every time you quit the app, so returning would be more annoying. Prepare for some uncomfortable feelings that you will have to embrace and have fun!